Therapeutic parenting

Part of support that foster and connected carers can access via SCAYT+, focuses on how carers can develop additional skills and knowledge in parenting a child who has experienced developmental trauma.

This may be done on an individual basis or carers may be able to access one of the training programmes that specifically supports carers in developing therapeutic parenting skills. 

About therapeutic parenting

Parenting should provide all the normal parenting experiences for the child but additionally, an environment within which the child can begin to heal and recover from early traumatic experiences of being parented.

All children need attuned, sensitive, and responsive parenting.

In addition, children who have experienced developmental and relational trauma need parents who understand the:

  • developmental and behavioural impact of previous parenting experience and the loss and separation from these parents.
  • developmental stage the child is at.
  • behaviour the child has learned to deal with their world.
  • insecurity that this experience has left them with and how this continues to impact them.

Parents of children with poor early attachment experiences need to be available and responsive, in common with all parents, but also to be gently challenging. They need to help children revise the beliefs and assumptions developed as a legacy of their early experience, for example, 'parents can't keep me safe', 'I am bad and will not be loved',  'parents always leave me'.

Therapeutic parenting is relationship focused and aims to build connection between the child and a parent through attuned and sensitive parenting. By doing this it can help the child to develop emotional regulation and also help the child to start to make sense of their lived experience.

One key element of therapeutic parenting is adopting an attitude of PACE. Below is some brief information on this part of the therapeutic parenting approach, however, a referral to SCAYT+ would be required to further consider how carers start to develop these skills.

Parenting with PACE (Dan Hughes)

PACE stands for the following and is one of many considerations when thinking about therapeutic parenting:

P – Playfulness 

  • A light-hearted, relaxed and playful attitude
  • Helps child feel connected within the relationship
  • Help the child to experience fun and love

A – Acceptance

  • Understanding reasons why a child behaves or experiences something a particular way
  • Convey understanding via acceptance

C – Curiosity

  • Figuring out what is going on
  • Understand the meaning behind the behaviour
    • Wonder about the child
    • Wondering with the child
  • Make best guesses about inner experience of child

E - Empathy

  • Enter imaginatively into the experience of the child
  • Convey acceptance of inner experience to the child

PACE is an active interaction that responds to and reflects upon the child's affective (emotional) experience.

The parent remains emotionally engaged and available to the child. They provide love, nurture, protection and understanding. This supports the child to feel understood and validated.

This can then build trust and security in the relationship between the parent and the child.

Combined with love, the parent provides a home within which the child's emotional needs are met and allows them to heal from previous traumatic experiences.

PACE is not something that can be adapted and used as a 'behavioural management strategy' but requires the parent/carer to adopt as part of their parenting approach and way of being with the child. 

References

Hughes, D., (2012). Parenting A Child with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties, BAAF.

Hughes, D. & Golding, K., (2012). Creating loving Attachments, Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Hughes, D. & Baylin, J., (2012) Brain- Based Parenting, W.W Norton and Company, NY.

Golding, K., (2017). Nurturing Attachments: Supporting Children Who are Fostered or Adopted. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.